I realized Britons had a problem with alcohol.
I don’t mean to offend anyone here, but you have to admit this.
Your Pimms cocktail is deliciously ridiculous. For the very few non-drinkers reading this, this cocktail is composed of 90% fruit – orange, strawberry, cucumber and mint. All we need now to make it 100% hipster is to add some quinoa and kale leaves. Let’s face it: ordering a Pimms is accepting to pay £12 for a fruit salad and a drop of liquor. And you won’t just order one. This is how you end up drunk and £72 lighter for a slice of orange and a bite of strawberry.
As a French national now living in London, a few words about what you’ve been mistakenly calling wine for so many years. At first, I found really strange that your wine bottles lacked a need for cork screws, like any household condiment. After complaining about how you ruined our wine tradition using this ridiculous screw top, I opened the bottle in half a second and tasted this medal-holder wine. This is when your logic became clear to me: why would someone use a wine cork to close a Balsamic vinegar?